If Not Now

If Not Now… When?

Its time to forgive colorful vortex

Have you ever found yourself saying “if not now, when?

Recently, I was speaking with a young woman who was caught up in the turmoil and tribulations of a divorce.

Her 10-year marriage was ending. Her older but wiser Self was realizing that she and her husband had let passion and love thrust them into marriage while they did not take the time and care to find out what was important to them in life and so, now that their relationship needed firmer ground to work through conflict, they were on a slippery slope of anger, blame and recriminations.

She described the little and big hurts and betrayals that had brought her to the realization that she had nothing more to give in this relationship. Even as they were trapped in the pain and disappointment that ending the marriage engendered, so more importantly she was trapped in the past, unable to look at what was happening in her life today, because she was viewing it through the memories and events of the past ten years.

She realized that she had made a number of mistakes over the past ten years. She was both angry at her husband and angry at herself.

As we spoke, I observed that she needed to forgive herself for her past mistakes. Interestingly, she felt that she had to wait to forgive. She thought she could forgive, both herself and him, later. She had constructed a list of events that she needed to check off her list before she felt ready to address the issue of forgiveness.

Although, this construction of what must happen before we forgive (ourselves or others) is very common, I found myself wondering and questioning if not now, when is the time to forgive?

If Not Now... When, time

 

I know, as one who teaches about and preaches about the importance of forgiveness, that the one who benefits the most is the forgiver, not the forgiven.

By forgiveness, both of yourself and others you are freeing yourself and releasing the past, opening your life to all of the potential and joy that you can embrace once you have shed the burden of old sorrows and circumstances.

 

Right now, mired in the past hurts and resentments, one’s vision is limited to seeing through a pinhole the light and potential that is available. This self-limiting constraint is all too common in life decisions. The freedom that forgiveness offers is a gift that is available whenever we finally choose to accept and embrace it, today or tomorrow.

One essential key to facilitating the transformation of family gatherings is forgiveness, and the other is love. Although there is a great deal that can be said (read my other forgiveness posts) in these two areas instead of thinking and theorizing on these. I suggest a dynamic experiment that you can do. It requires no agreement or participation from anyone else. It is very simple and yet both powerful and empowering. No one needs to know you are doing this.

Forgiveness Exercise

This exercise incorporates the very powerful forces of Love, Forgiveness, and Gratitude.

They involve saying in your mind specific repetitive phrases when observing the behaviors of those around you. You can shift freely and fluidly between these phrases. You can choose them at will.

For as much of the time you are with your family as you find possible (or someone you need to forgive), repeat these phrases in your mind. You may find your own variations and expressions of the phrases.

Keep repeating the phrases no matter what is happening or what anyone is doing. Beyond using the power of your mind, there is nothing you need to do or say. There is no reason to explain or belabor this, just repeat these phrases in your mind and heart.

The Forgiveness Phrases:

    Please forgive me
    Thank you
    I love you
    I forgive you
    I forgive myself

You may find other similar thoughts flow through your mind. You may find yourself lured by specifics. Let yourself be freed from your entire past “story” and return to repeating these simple phrases in your mind. The past is over. The future is unwritten.

At this moment, right now, just repeat these simple phrases.

 

Please note: The phrases included here are a minor modification of the teachings of Hoʻoponopono [ho-o-pono-pono] (an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.) You can find more about this in a book by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, titled “Zero Limits”.

 

If you, like my young friend, acknowledge that ultimately forgiving the past and both yourself and your spouse are important life tasks, and that deep within, you understand are elements of growing past your present pain and sorrow, I must ask “Why suffer any longer?

Forgiveness is powerful and the results are immediate. Forgiveness is the portal to the present and all of the opportunities life is offering.

If, having forgiven an event or circumstance of the past, sometimes you may become aware that there were dynamics and forces in play of which you were not previously aware and while embracing and benefiting from this insight you can forgive again, releasing and freeing yourself.

Each time you forgive, each subtle nuance of understanding that you unlock can add to the compassion that you bestow on yourself or the other. You do not need to wait until you understand to forgive. Forgiveness itself unlocks the layers of shame and sorrow that hold old hurts in place.

You can unlock the doors to forgiveness by the simple thoughts “I Forgive You or I forgive myself”. The thought can be event-specific or general and amorphous and the amazing thing is it begins to unravel the past. Prayers, meditations or specific visualizations such as the one I recently created called “How to Forgive Yourselfare all helpful and beneficial, but most important is the decision to forgive, NOW.

There is no need to carry the past or let it diminish the present. The dynamic principle that energy follows thought can be activated in you and for you, right here, right now.

Namaste,

   Genevieve

The Blessing of Love on all that you do.

 

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Last updated 12-20-2019

 

Genevieve - Soulful

 

About the author:
Genevieve Gerard teaches Transformational Consciousness – from first awakening to enlightened Soul awareness. She helps you experience the joy that results from the spontaneous “touch of your soul.”

Read more details…

Genevieve has a Bachelor’s Degree in Philosophy and Theology and a Master of Arts Degree in Counseling and for over thirty years has worked one-on-one with people who were recovering from devastating disabilities and chronic pain. Teaching the mastery of the mind-body relationship she was one of the early professionals trained in biofeedback, visualization, imagery, and meditation as essential techniques to help people heal their bodies, heal their emotions, heal their minds, and heal their lives.

Genevieve’s work demonstrates what she knows so well, “It is spiritual connectedness that triggers physical healing and emotional and mental well-being.”  Helping people, like you, tap into your higher-self is the power she wields to guide you to heal and transform your life.

Now, with this understanding, she combines the effective techniques she developed over decades teaching mind-body mastery along with her extensive experience in meditation and spiritual development to create a synthesis of mind-body-spirit that delivers complete healing and opens the door to unlimited personal growth and an encounter with your Soul.

In addition to her current life guidance coaching sessions, and workshops performed around the world, Genevieve has produced more than 20+ guided meditations in the last eight years that are available on iTunes, Amazon, CDBaby, and her website.

It is her vision that through your experience with the techniques of awareness, visualization, and meditation, the love of your Soul will touch and transform your life through her writings and products. It is her sincere desire that the potential of a life of joy and celebration that seems to elude so many people can become a reality for you, now and forever.

Browse her life story and read the Touch of the Soul that changed her world. To contact Genevieve, visit her keep in touch page.

 

Copyright © 2014-2019 Genevieve Gerard and Touch of the Soul LLC. All Rights Reserved.

 

23 thoughts on “If Not Now”

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