Key to Happiness

How Smiling Enhances Happiness

How Smiling Enhances Happiness

Read "How Smiling Enhances Happiness" blog by Genevieve Gerard

A smile is a powerful thing.

Have you ever noticed that when you smile at someone, they almost always smile back at you even if you are complete strangers. Even if they were not smiling before, once you looked into their eyes and smiled, they smiled back.

A smile is a universal way of connecting with one another.

Years ago, I lived in New York City, and the hustle and bustle of city life were at times lonely and alienating. There were times when that bothered me, so I began a little game with myself that was both an experiment in the nature of energy and the power of a smile.

Now, this was just a young woman learning about life, so this was in no way a scientific experiment. Luckily science has since proven some of the things that I discovered in this game.

The Smile Game

When walking down the City sidewalks I noticed that many people did not smile as they hurried by me. The challenge in my little game was to see if I could get them to smile.

As they walked by I would make eye contact, something I noticed people in the City seemed to avoid, and smile.

A smile can be an affirmation of your joy and our unity.
      – Genevieve Gerard

Amazingly I noticed that most of them would smile back. At times, I even saw confusion in their eyes as they did so, but they would almost always return my smile. It was a spontaneous response.

I like to think even that brief sense of connection served in a small way to lighten their life and dispel the sense of separation and isolation that can trap people in their loneliness.

Smile Research Studies

Years later I heard about a research study conducted at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) that discovered that a smile biochemically released endorphins into the body. In fact, the endorphins released were the same endorphins that are released when people are falling in love.

The study went on to say that the mere act of smiling worked to release those endorphins. It did not matter if the smile had a reason or not. The smile worked as a part of the amazing autonomic nervous system’s stimulus-response mechanism. The smile produced the reason to smile. The smile helped to make the person happy.

Now I understand, based on the research, that my little smile game on the City sidewalks long ago made me feel happier because it released endorphins and dispelled my sense of loneliness and isolation that could sometimes darken my emotions.

Since then, UCLA social scientists have done a great deal more research about this amazing relationship of body language and the autonomic nervous system. They have found that smiling or assuming a posture associated with success, happiness or victory, are the results in the feelings associated with the body language that is being created all around you.

Below, in the related links, I will give you a TED talk I recently heard that spoke of the many ways that you can use this information to have a positive impact on your life. As I often write, “energy follows thought,” but I find it amazing that action also has a dynamic influence on what you experience.

Back when I was a child, there was a song about whistling a happy tune that makes this point. I also think that the immense popularity of the emoticons on smartphones demonstrates this point too.

There is an old folk wisdom saying, “smile and the world smiles with you” that also makes this point.

I invite and encourage you to play with this concept and to create your own experiment. As you walk through your daily life, whenever you see someone, a friend or a stranger, look into their eyes and smile. As you do this, observe. Did they smile back at you? How did that make you feel? Did you notice a change in how you felt just by smiling? Did you observe a little jolt of joy in your heart when they returned your smile?

At the end of this post, there is a place you can comment on your experiment. Also, on my website I have a section called transformation stories where you can share your experience in more detail. I invite you to post there what happened in your life with this test.

You can raise it all up a notch by imagining love flowing from you to them with your smile. A smile is such a simple thing to give and can have such a powerful impact. Or as you make eye contact you can simply greet them with a silent Namaste.

Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.
      – Yogananda

Real Life Example

I remember a little incident that happened after 9-11.

I was in a bank and saw a woman with a headscarf in line. I looked at her and smiled at her thinking nothing of it. As I was leaving the bank she rushed up to me and thanked me profusely. She said that since 9-11 she had felt such anger from people, and that everyone averted their eyes from her.

My simple smile reassured her and gave her hope. We ended up sharing a brief moment of healing at a terrible time in history, all because of that simple smile. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know her and never saw her again. At that moment, there was a connection.

I invite you to use your smile as an instrument for good in the world and enter into joyful playfulness that will enhance your happiness.

Namaste,

Genevieve

The Blessing of Love on All That You Do!

 

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Copyright © 2015-2018 Genevieve Gerard and Touch of the Soul LLC, All Rights Reserved.

 

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Key to Freedom and Happiness

Forgiveness: The Key to Freedom and Happiness

by Genevieve Gerard

I often said I would write an article entitled “Forgiveness, the Ultimate Act of Selfishness.”  However, this morning as I sit down to write it seems a more appropriate title would be “Forgiveness: The Key to Freedom and Happiness.”  We have all seen the results of a failure to forgive in mean, embittered old people who live lonely lives, blaming others for their misery and their lot in life. 

Shakespeare shared his insight on forgiveness’ grace in these lines from the
Merchant of Venice:

“The quality of mercy is not strain’d,

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:

It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.”[1]

Forgiveness may be a blessing to the one you forgive, but to you it offers a healing and freedom to move forward in your life that is much more powerful for you than it is for the one who is forgiven. 

When I have said this to people they frequently ask if forgiveness is warranted even when someone has done something that is unforgivable.  They ponder whether it is right to forgive someone of a truly heinous act.  My answer to this is always a resounding yes.  In forgiving someone there is always the possibility that the grace of forgiveness will allow them to truly see the error of their ways and thus bring about transformation. 

However, far more important is the grace that forgiveness offers you in freedom from the burdens of anger, hate, resentment, or sorrow that is harbored inside of you.  Carrying these old feelings burdens you in the present.  If past wrongs are continually brought into present time they are never really over.  As long as you carry the burden of your anger, hate and resentment the past is dominating your present.  You become inextricably bound to that old wrong as you carry it with you into the present, into the now.  By not forgiving and letting go, you allow the old wrong or hurt to color your whole life.

It is reminisant of an old Zen parable from Zen Flesh, Zen Bones called “The Muddy Road” about Tanzan and Ekido, two Buddhist monks, who were renunciates. 

Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road.  A heavy rain was falling.  Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.  “Come on, girl” said Tanzan at once.  Lifting her in his arms he carried her over the mud.  Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple.  Then he could no longer restrain himself.  “We monks don’t go near females” he told Tanzan, “especially not young and beautiful ones.  It is dangerous.  Why did you do that?”

“I left the girl there.” said Tanzan.  “Are you still carrying her?”

So it is with us when we fail to forgive past wrongs.  We are required to carry them long beyond their time.  If you fail to forgive, the past limits your ability to fully appreciate and experience the gifts of the present, because these old harbored wrongs are filling your present time with useless baggage from another time and place.  In order to fully experience the freedom and the happiness that is granted to those who live in the now, it is necessary to let go of what you are bringing with you that is not a part of the now.  To do this you must forgive the people who caused all the old hurts, wrongs or resentments you are carrying with you.

Of course, there is often another element that must be faced.  In order to fully forgive you must make an honest assessment of any responsibility you may have had in the situation that resulted in your being hurt.  If after an honest assessment you find that you share any of the blame in bringing about this situation, you also must forgive yourself.

One final step in any situation where you find mutual responsibility is to allow yourself to be forgiven by the other.  All that is required is simply your openness to the energy of forgiveness from the other and does not require their active participation.

Forgiveness of old hurts and forgiveness of yourself is like dropping a heavy load that you have carried for far too long.  Once you have let go of it you may well find yourself wondering why you chose to carry it for so long.  Once you have let go of the old hurts, resentments and pains you will be free to experience what is happening and what is possible in the now. 

There is a tremendous freedom that comes from being able to cope with the challenges of the now, in the now.  Burdens are lightened and your perspective becomes clearer. Today’s challenges become sufficient for today. And, at last, you have the freedom to live your life fully, one day at a time, one moment at a time, blessed by the freedom of the eternal now.

About the author: Genevieve Gerard teaches Transformational Consciousness – from first awakening to enlightened awareness.  She helps you experience the joy that results from the spontaneous “touch of the soul.”  Browse her body of work at www.GenevieveGerard.com.

Copyright © 2011 by Genevieve Gerard.  All rights reserved.

 

[1] The Merchant of Venice, Act 4  Scene 1

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