3 Questions To Ask Yourself To
“X” Out Expectations

There is a simple way that you can immediately increase your happiness and enjoy your life more.

It is by freeing yourself from the expectations you have layered onto your life.

Those expectations not only cause you pain but they are most often a fantasy of something that is both untrue and unreal.

Many, dare I say most of our expectations come from a belief that any event or situation in life “should” be different than it is. This tendency to hold our lives up to the judgment that any circumstance “should” be different than what it is, or what is expected, is a guarantee to interfere with the ability to enjoy and appreciate what is actually happening in your life.

If you were to actually consider where most of these “should” thoughts originate you would realize that many of them come from media input, found in television, movies, and magazines. It is important to understand that these stories have been created and edited to match up with fantasy expectations of life. They are not real stories of real people, and even when they are taken from real-life stories they have most often been manipulated to make a good drama or an engaging comedy. They are not real life. Real-life, your real life, when freed from these projections of unrealistic expectations is for most people filled with many opportunities and blessings if you stop to evaluate your life realistically.

Happy endings (an obsession with many American audiences,) and happily ever after, a required part of the modern fairy tale, are a fantasy. To meet this need for happy conclusions, many foreign filmmakers create alternate endings, one for American audiences and a more realistic and some might say sad ending for other parts of the world. That practice has waned as the worldwide media distribution has carried the proliferation of unrealistic expectations to the far reaches of the earth.

It seems to me that even though you probably know that these imitations of life are not life itself it is all too easy to hold your life up to these fantasy portrayals in your mind. Then, unfortunately, you experience the pain of disappointment when your life fails to measure up. The fact that these expectations came not from your observation of reality, but rather from the illusions of the media industry might never cross your mind.

Dealing with your expectations and freeing yourself from the litany of “should” and “ought’s” is one of the single most powerful things you can do to increase your joy and satisfaction with your life. Dropping unrealistic expectations of how an event or situation “should be” opens you up to be able to experience what is actually happening in your life. Frequently, when you stop evaluating your life through the fantasy the media portrays you realize just how amazing your life really is.

This single shift in your perspective does so much to make your life happier and more fulfilling that I began in my own life journey to refer to the times that I was “shoulding” on myself with the byline of “how I make myself miserable.” Fortunately, since the fantasy of these “happily ever after” “happy endings” are clearly not real, a little application of logic and a simple decision to “X” out the expectations and let yourself look at your life without holding it up to an imaginary standard goes a long way to increase your experience of pleasure and happiness.

You were born with an amazing mind and it is helpful to use your mind to shift your perception. I have prepared a few questions you might pose to yourself when you find yourself caught up in the thrall of unrealistic expectations.

The Questions To Ask Yourself:

1. “Who says I “should”?

 

This may be one of the most powerful questions to ask yourself.

Xing out expectations is a process of freeing yourself of often well-established glamours and illusions in your mind so it is helpful to identify the “voice” that is generating that message.

This identification of either who in your life or where in your life you developed the message that you “should” is very freeing.

Very often that “should” comes from the news, television, magazines, or the movies and your logical mind can immediately comprehend is not real life and therefore is not a realistic standard by which to judge an event or situation.

 

If this is from someone else, a parent, a sibling or friend look objectively at their life and consider if their life meets this imaginary expectation. Most often, it does not.

 

Just ask yourself, “who says I should ______________” and fill in the blank.

As an example, “who says I should try to look like a movie star in order to
feel glamourous and feel good about myself?”

 

As you can see, even movie stars don’t really look like movie stars (in everyday life.)

 

2. “Why Not Me”?

This is a very revealing question. In my years of counseling and coaching individuals often ask “why me” when dealing with catastrophic life circumstances. I coined a phrase to address that question. I would ask, “why not you?.” I would often then say, “Show me the ‘life guarantee’ you got with your birth certificate and I will make God honor it.”

In over 40 years, I never once saw such a guarantee.

 

3. “Is that experience really better than what is really happening?

This is a question where I often, and I hope you can upon examining a situation or circumstance, realize that actually what is really happening is not only perfectly fine but is often preferable to what was being proposed in the unattainable “should” category.

Asking yourself the three simple questions does a lot to free you from the pain and sorrow that evaluating your life based upon unrealistic fantasy expectations cause. Freeing yourself of expectations opens you to experience, appreciate and enjoy your life. It is a way to enable you to feel the full breadth of joy that is available to you in any moment of time.

Bringing your consciousness and attention into what is actually happening in any given moment of time and leaving behind the expectations and illusions of “shoulda, coulda, oughta” gives you the strength to deal with what is real in your life. And although not every event or circumstance in your life will be exactly what you may wish it to be, experiencing what is really happening is so much more satisfying and fulfilling than trying to live up to your unfulfilled expectations that can never be.

This simple application of your logical mind can create greater joy and satisfaction in your life.

Clearing your life of the self-induced sorrow and pain of never-ending expectations will be freeing and will open you up to the unlimited potential and magnificent possibilities that life can bring with each new day.

Namaste,

   Genevieve

The Blessing of Love on All That You Do!

 

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Last updated 10-3-2019

 

 

About the author:
Genevieve Gerard teaches Transformational Consciousness – from first awakening to enlightened Soul awareness. She helps you experience the joy that results from the spontaneous “touch of your soul.”

Read more details…

Genevieve has a Bachelor’s Degree in Philosophy and Theology and a Master of Arts Degree in Counseling and for over thirty years has worked one-on-one with people who were recovering from devastating disabilities and chronic pain. Teaching the mastery of the mind-body relationship she was one of the early professionals trained in biofeedback, visualization, imagery, and meditation as essential techniques to help people heal their bodies, heal their emotions, heal their minds, and heal their lives.

Genevieve’s work demonstrates what she knows so well, “It is spiritual connectedness that triggers physical healing and emotional and mental well-being.”  Helping people, like you, tap into your higher-self is the power she wields to guide you to heal and transform your life.

Now, with this understanding, she combines the effective techniques she developed over decades teaching mind-body mastery along with her extensive experience in meditation and spiritual development to create a synthesis of mind-body-spirit that delivers complete healing and opens the door to unlimited personal growth and an encounter with your Soul.

In addition to her current life guidance coaching sessions, and workshops performed around the world, Genevieve has produced more than 20+ guided meditations in the last eight years that are available on iTunes, Amazon, CDBaby, and her website.

It is her vision that through your experience with the techniques of awareness, visualization, and meditation, the love of your Soul will touch and transform your life through her writings and products. It is her sincere desire that the potential of a life of joy and celebration that seems to elude so many people can become a reality for you, now and forever.

Browse her life story and read the Touch of the Soul that changed her world. To contact Genevieve, visit her keep in touch page.

 

Copyright © 2014-2019 Genevieve Gerard and Touch of the Soul LLC. All rights reserved.