What Would It Be Like If People Everywhere Practiced Kindness?
Recently I saw a quote from the Dalai Lama. He said, “My Religion is very simple, my religion is kindness.” That led me to consider what it would be like if people everywhere practiced kindness.
It takes only a few moments in any situation to see how rare and extraordinary kindness is. Even among friends and families, even while professing to love one another there is often cruelty. In many groups teasing is disguised as affection.
When that is the norm, there is an emotional confusion between what you experience and what you know to be true in your inner self. This confusion leads to misinterpreting what love is.
Is Teasing An Expression of Affection?
Teasing and sarcasm, two partners in cruelty disguised as love or affection are not kind. They often hide mean-spirited anger that is a way of one-upmanship and denigrating and insulting another.
That the cruelty is delivered cleverly or playfully is designed to cover up the meanness. And, the most damaging and harmful part of this way of relating with one another is that the person who is teasing and sarcastic claims to be showing affection. This leaves the target of the teasing and sarcasm disempowered. After all, says the attacker, “I was only teasing or playing.”
The playfulness or cleverness of the cruelty among those who practice this kind of behavior is supposed to render it harmless, but it never does.
This type of interaction still hurts, but the target is deprived of their expression of anger by the meanness being hidden in playfulness, being disguised as wittiness or affection.
What is so difficult about this kind of human interaction is that no matter how witty and clever the sarcastic quip may be, it still hurts. That hurt is real and for you to be told that it is loving attention is confusing. It is easy for a child to create confusion about what love is.
When I was a child teasing was a part of a lot of my interaction with adults. There was one friend of the family who was relentlessly cruel, rarely stopping showing me his so-called affectionate attention until I was in tears. Since he was “only teasing” I was not supposed to get upset. In fact, he often ridiculed me for my tears, teasing me further about crying.
Although I had not thought of this childhood teasing or this adult in many years, I realize now how harmful that “play” was. The most damaging part was not even the content of the teasing. The most damaging part was the LIE that his meanness was an expression of love or affection.
Deep in my heart, even as a very young child, I knew that cruelty was not an expression of love. Still, having the adults around me justified his meanness and created confusion about what it was to love. That was where the real harm was created.
Truth is not only violated by falsehood;
it may be equally outraged by silence.
– Henri Frederic Amiel
Each of us has within us an inner sense of truth and understanding of Right Action. When parents, teachers, or social norms teach something that violates that inner voice, it is very confusing and damaging to a child. A graphic example of this is when a child is abused and told it is love.
Sadly, childhood experiences of teasing or witty sarcasm, often a part of how teenagers interact, create a misunderstanding and confusion about what is loving behavior and what is not.
This confusion can lead to people not stopping abusive behavior especially when it is disguised as playfulness. When cruelty is received at the hands of a loved one, partner, friend, or parent something becomes disconnected. The disguise does not work deep within your heart, yet you may want to believe it is only “in fun.”
What I have observed with most people who use teasing and sarcasm as a way of interacting with others is a wave of underlying anger that peaks through. Since the anger seeps out wrapped in a package of joking it is not possible to confront the feelings honestly and bring them to the light of understanding.
The confusion that is created when you try to accept what is painful and disguised is sometimes called “crazy-making.” That is because of no matter what you are being told you have within you that innate sense of truth. The lie of cruelty instead of kindness will finally be revealed.
This innate sense of truth knows. Ultimately, you cannot lie to yourself.
Scripts People Live Story
I am reminded of a story told by Claude Steiner in his book “Scripts People Live: Transactional Analysis of Life Scripts
.“
A Warm Fuzzier Tale by Claude Steiner
Once upon a time, a long time ago, there lived two happy people called Tim and Maggie with their two children, John and Lucy. To understand how happy they were you have to understand how things were in those days.
You see in those happy days everyone was given a small, soft Fuzzy Bag when born. Anytime a person reached into their bag they were able to pull out a Warm Fuzzy. Warm Fuzzies were very much in demand because whenever someone was given a Warm Fuzzy it made them feel warm and fuzzy all over.
In those days, it was very easy to get Warm Fuzzies. Anytime that somebody felt like it, he might walk up to you and say, “I’d like to have a Warm Fuzzy.” You would then reach into your bag and pull out a Fuzzy the size of a child’s hand. As soon as the Fuzzy saw the light of day it would smile and blossom into a large, shaggy, Warm Fuzzy. When you laid the Warm Fuzzy on the person’s head, shoulder or lap it would snuggle up and melt right against their skin and make them feel good all over.
People were always asking each other for Warm Fuzzies, and since they were always given freely, getting enough of them was never a problem. There was always plenty to go around, and so everyone was happy and felt warm and fuzzy most of the time.
One day an evil witch who made salves and potions for sick people became angry because everyone was so happy and feeling good and no one was buying potions and salves. The witch was ingenious and devised an evil plan. One beautiful morning while Maggie was playing with her daughter the witch crept up to Tim and whispered in his ear,
“See here, Tim, look at all the Fuzzies that Maggie is giving to Lucy. You know, if she keeps it up she is going to run out, and then there won’t be any left for you!”
Tim was astonished. He turned to the witch and asked, “Do you mean to tell me that there isn’t a Warm Fuzzy in our bag every time we reach for it?”
And the witch answered, “No, absolutely not, and once you run out, that’s it. You don’t have anymore.” With this, the witch flew away on a broom, laughing and cackling all the way.
Tim took this to heart and began to notice every time Maggie gave away a Warm Fuzzy. He got anxious because he liked Maggie’s Warm Fuzzies very much and did not want to give them up. He certainly did not think it was right for Maggie to be spending all her Warm Fuzzies on the children and other people.
Tim began to complain or sulk when he saw Maggie giving Warm Fuzzies to somebody else, and because Maggie loved him very much, she stopped giving Warm Fuzzies to other people as often and reserved most of them for him.
The children watched this and soon began to get the idea that it was wrong to give Warm Fuzzies any time you were asked or felt like it. They too became very careful. They would watch their parents closely, and whenever they felt that one of their parents was giving too many Fuzzies to others, they felt jealous and complained and sometimes even had a tantrum.
Even though the children found a Warm Fuzzy every time they reached into their bag they began to feel guilty whenever they gave them away, so they reached in less and less and became more and more stingy with them.
Before the witch, people used to gather in groups of three, four, or five, never caring too much who was giving Warm Fuzzies to whom. After the coming of the witch, people began to pair off and to reserve all their Warm Fuzzies for each other, exclusively. When people forgot to be careful and gave a Warm Fuzzy to just anybody, they worried because they knew that somebody would probably resent sharing their Warm Fuzzies.
People began to give less and less Warm Fuzzies and felt less warm and less fuzzy. They started to shrivel up and, occasionally, people would even die from lack of Warm Fuzzies. People felt worse and worse and, more and more, people went to the witch to buy potions and salves even though they didn’t seem to work.
Well, the situation was getting far-reaching indeed. The evil witch who had been watching all of this didn’t want the people to die (since dead people couldn’t buy his salves and potions), so a new plan was devised.
Everyone was given, free of charge, a bag that was very similar to the Fuzzy Bag except that this one was cold while the Fuzzy Bag was warm. Inside of the witch’s bag was Cold Pricklies. These Cold Pricklies did not make people feel warm and fuzzy; in fact, they made them feel cold and prickly instead. But the Cold Pricklies was better than nothing and they did prevent peoples’ backs from shriveling up.
So, from then on, when somebody asked for a Warm Fuzzy, people who were worried about depleting their supply would say, “I can’t give you a Warm Fuzzy, but would you like a Cold Prickly instead?”
Sometimes, two people would walk up to each other, thinking that maybe they could get a Warm Fuzzy this time, but one of them would change his mind, and they would wind up giving each other Cold Pricklies instead. So, the result was that people were not dying anymore, but a lot of people were miserable and felt frigid and prickly indeed.
The situation got very complicated since the coming of the witch because there were fewer and fewer Warm Fuzzies around and Warm Fuzzies which used to be free as the air became treasured.
This caused people to do all sorts of things to get Warm Fuzzies. People who could not find a generous partner had to buy their Warm Fuzzies and had to work long hours to earn the money.
Some people became “famous” and got a lot of Warm Fuzzies without having to give any back. These individuals would then sell their Warm Fuzzies to people who were “unpopular” and needed them to feel that life was worth living.
Another thing which happened was that some people would take Cold Pricklies–which were everywhere and freely available and coated them white and fluffy so that they almost looked like Warm Fuzzies. These fake Warm Fuzzies were really Plastic Fuzzies, and they caused additional problems.
For instance, two or more people would get together and freely give each other Plastic Fuzzies. They expected to feel good, but they came away feeling bad instead. People got very confused never realizing that their cold, prickly feelings were because they had been given a lot of Plastic Fuzzies.
So the situation was very, very dismal and it all started because of the coming of the witch who made people believe that someday when least expected, they might reach into their Warm Fuzzy Bag and find no more.
Not long ago, a young woman with big hips came to this troubled land. She seemed not to have heard about the bad witch and was not worried about running out of Warm Fuzzies. She gave them out freely, even when not asked. They called her the Hip Woman and disapproved of her because she was giving the children the idea that they should not worry about running out of Warm Fuzzies. The children liked her very much because they felt good around her and they began to follow her example giving out Warm Fuzzies whenever they felt like it.
This made the grownups anxious. To protect the children from depleting their supplies of Warm Fuzzies they passed a law. The law made it a criminal offense to give out Warm Fuzzies in a reckless manner or without a license. Many children, however, seemed not to care; and in spite of the law, they continued to give each other Warm Fuzzies whenever they felt like it and always when asked. Because they were many, many children, almost as many as grownups, it began to look as if maybe they would have their way.
As of now it’s hard to say what will happen. Will the grownups’ laws stop the recklessness of the children?
Are the grownups going to join with the Hip Woman and the children in taking a chance that there will always be as many Warm Fuzzies as needed?
Will they remember the days their children are trying to bring back when Warm Fuzzies were abundant because people gave them away freely?
The struggle spread all over the land and is probably going on right where you live. If you want to, and I hope you do, you can join by freely giving and asking for Warm Fuzzies and being as loving and healthy as you can.
Kindness can be described as a warm fuzzy. Like the warm fuzzy you know when you have received kindness.
As you considered the Dalai Lama’s statement that “his religion is kindness,” take some time to think what that would mean if everyone practiced kindness. I am sure it would make the world a better place. Imagine for a minute what the world would be like if everyone made a religion of kindness.
I would like to see kindness become contagious to epidemic proportions around the world. I encourage you to let kindness and compassion guide your actions and all of your relationships.
Namaste,
Genevieve Gerard
The Blessing of Love on All That you Do!
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About the author:
Genevieve Gerard teaches Transformational Consciousness – from first awakening to enlightened Soul awareness. She helps you experience the joy that results from the spontaneous “touch of your soul.”
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Genevieve has a Bachelor’s Degree in Philosophy and Theology and a Master of Arts Degree in Counseling and for over thirty years has worked one-on-one with people who were recovering from devastating disabilities and chronic pain. Teaching the mastery of the mind-body relationship she was one of the early professionals trained in biofeedback, visualization, imagery, and meditation as essential techniques to help people heal their bodies, heal their emotions, heal their minds, and heal their lives.
Genevieve’s work demonstrates what she knows so well, “It is spiritual connectedness that triggers physical healing and emotional and mental well-being.” Helping people, like you, tap into your higher-self is the power she wields to guide you to heal and transform your life.
Now, with this understanding, she combines the effective techniques she developed over decades teaching mind-body mastery along with her extensive experience in meditation and spiritual development to create a synthesis of mind-body-spirit that delivers complete healing and opens the door to unlimited personal growth and an encounter with your Soul.
In addition to her current life guidance coaching sessions, and workshops performed around the world, Genevieve has produced more than 20+ guided meditations in the last eight years that are available on Apple Music (iTunes), Amazon, CDBaby, and her website.
It is her vision that through your experience with the techniques of awareness, visualization, and meditation, the love of your Soul will touch and transform your life through her writings and products. It is her sincere desire that the potential of a life of joy and celebration that seems to elude so many people can become a reality for you, now and forever.
Browse her life story and read the Touch of the Soul that changed her world. To contact Genevieve, visit her keep in touch page.
Last updated 11-4-2020
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