Are You Still Carrying the Past?

There is an old Koan that tells a story of two monks who were traveling from their monastery to a neighboring monastery far away.

Now a Koan is a story that Zen masters of old told to impart an important lesson.

A Koan is a story the student is to ponder to learn an underlying truth that leads them to intuitive enlightenment.

Long ago in my spiritual training, my Zen Master told this one to me. It is one of my favorite stories. Today I share it with you.

The Story

Two monks were traveling on a long journey. As was the way of the times, they were walking. Their journey eventually took them to a stream that was rapid and overflowing. As they were considering the best way to cross the stream, a beautiful maiden approached them.

It was the tradition of Buddhist monks that they take vows of celibacy so these monks had little experience with or exposure to beautiful maidens. The woman explained that she must get to the other side of the flooded stream and had not been able to cross. She asked for help.

One of the monks, upon hearing of her difficulty swept the woman up into his arms and carried her across the flooded water. He gently deposited the maiden on the opposite bank. She thanked him profusely. Then he walked on.

When his brother monk had also made his way across the stream, the two monks traveled on. As they walked, there was an uncomfortable silence between them. The brother monk seemed to be agitated and annoyed.

Eventually the monk inquired of his brethren monk what the cause of his distress was. The monk finally blurted out in anger and judgment. “I don’t understand how and why you could touch that woman. We, monks, have vowed to have nothing to do with a woman.”

After a few moments of considering what had distressed his brother the monk stated calmly “Brother, I left the woman back at the stream, are you still carrying her?”

This simple Koan speaks to the distress that is trapped in judgments and anger. The longer you hold onto that judgment and that anger the more you are trapped and limited from moving on. Clinging to your anger and righteous indignation can keep you from enjoying and appreciating what re opportunities and possibilities are before you. Clinging to those feelings, especially holding on to resentments keep you unable to see what is available in the present, in the moment, in the NOW.

I have always liked this simple story because it is clear that the angry monk did no harm to anyone but himself. The Buddha is reported to have said “It is not that you will be punished for your anger, but that you will be punished by your anger.” Ponder on this.

To carry your anger forward from the event that initially created the anger is one of the most significant ways we interfere in our own happiness, our ability to enjoy life, and our ability to experience true joy.

EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS

Of course, it is natural for us all to experience anger. That is an unavoidable part of our human experience. However, once someone has done something that makes you angry you get to decide how long you wish to carry it with you. In that decision, you decide how much you choose to be hurt and ultimately held back by the anger.

An emotion, any emotion, but particularly a strong emotion like anger has a flow to it, much like diving into a pool of water. When you dive, you know instinctively how deep into the water to take the dive before you naturally and spontaneously turn to the sky and come out of the dive.

When you take that natural and spontaneous feeling of anger and layer it with judgment (they shouldn’t have done that to me), resentment (I deserve to be treated better) and any of the other justifications you can create to cling to the anger, you are prolonging the pain of the initial injury. This is where you have a choice that can have a far-reaching impact on your life. This is the crucial point where the choices you make have an impact on how much joy you have.

In the thrall of your anger, judgment and righteous resentment at the wrong, it may be difficult to see that you have a choice. But anything beyond that initial spontaneous flash of the emotion of the anger is within your control, your choice. You might ask what you can do other than experience the outrage? You might wonder what choice I am talking about. You could feel completely trapped in that past event and see no possible solutions; after all, you were wronged.

Aren’t you totally justified being angry and resentful? To that, I say yes that may be true. But I ask you for your consideration, why would you choose to? What happened, whatever happened, is now in the past. The question I would ask for your consideration is what does bringing it into the present and carrying it with you give you? It certainly does not make you happy.

You can let go of the past pain, sorrow or injury by coming into present time and releasing the past. That immediately frees you from the burden of carrying old hurts. I understand it may require forgiving the person who hurt you. They may well not even deserve your forgiveness. The freedom that your forgiveness gives is to you, not them. The life forgiveness most influences is yours.

FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is a way that you can put what is past behind you and move forward in your life to whatever new experience and adventure that life places before you. You do not have to choose to carry old hurts and waves of anger around with you. Ironically, the person who wronged you may not ever know that you forgave them. That really is not important. If you are in an ongoing relationship with that person they may sense it on some intuitive level, or you may choose to tell them. However, the most important change that takes place when you release an old anger is within you.

By forgiving, you are now free. You are no longer limiting your ability to seize the new opportunities that are unfolding before you because of something outside of this moment. By choosing to let go of the past you are empowering your life.

A SIMPLE FORGIVENESS TECHNIQUE

A very simple technique of forgiveness that I have found to be very freeing and very powerful comes from an old Hawaiian teaching called Hoʻoponopono [ho-o-pono-pono] (an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.) Please note, I have added a few additional phrases to the standard teaching.

The Traditional Phrases are:

• I love you.

• I’m sorry.

• Please forgive me.

• Thank you.

The additional phrases that I sometimes also add are:

• I forgive you.

And

• I forgive myself.

The elegance of this technique is its simplicity. All you have to say in your mind is the specific repetitive phrases above when observing the behaviors of those around you. Keep repeating the phrases no matter what is happening or what anyone is doing.

Beyond using the power of your mind there is nothing you need to do or say out loud. You don’t have to belabor the circumstance; the focus on these phrases creates the release.

IN CONCLUSION

The freedom to be in the present releases you from the past and opens you up to enjoy the possibilities of the future while you experience more joy in your life at this moment.

At times, although this technique is very simple it may seem hard for you. That is OK. Simple is different from easy. When you find it difficult to release the past or forgive it, it might be revealing to ask yourself what are you getting from clinging to an old hurt or wrong.

For many the lure of clinging to the past is the reassurance that you were right, and therefore, the other persons were wrong. Certainly, that reassurance is not worth carrying the pain of the anger with you and it is not worth limiting the potential and possibilities that are emerging in your unobstructed life as the future is unfolding.

Therefore, I encourage you to choose to stop carrying the hurts of the past and open yourself up to the new opportunities that will be revealed to you. You will be happier. You will be immediately rewarded with a greater lightness and more joy.

Namaste,

   Genevieve

The Blessing of Love on all that you do!

 

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Last updated 3-20-2019

 

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